Dear Friends,
Recently, I have learned some hard lessons. I realized that the stress I was feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon. Now, I spell “stress” L-I-F-E. I learned that I cannot blame my mistakes on the problems of others - I must take full responsibility. I have had some really hard things happen recently, but, I have learned the need to CLING to the Lord when I’m going through the valleys. This past week, the Lord has been reminding me of what He has brought me from, and what He wants to bring me into… I went back this week and read my testimony, amazed at how soon we humans forget the depth of sin we were once mired in…
Here’s my testimony….
I was born into a Christian family. As a little kid, I knew who Jesus was, and why He died. I knew that He came to earth because I was a sinner who deserved to die. Even as a child, I knew that Jesus died on the cross for me to have eternal life.
But I didn’t connect the dots, the ones that went from my brain to my heart. People at church saw me as the cute little girl who obeyed her mommy. I knew that I was a “good girl” outwardly, and I was proud of it. But, if the people at church were to see me at home, they would see a vindictive brat. I knew something was wrong. I remember sitting in the car and feeling like there was a bottomless, empty hole in the pit of my stomach. Still, I wanted my own way. I fought with my siblings, lied, and thought badly of others.
Finally, when I was about six, I was playing - in direct disobedience to my mom. For one, I wasn’t doing my chores like I had been told. Secondly, I was jumping on the sofa – a definite No! I went upstairs to my mom and “confessed” to her. I told her I was sorry, crying all the while. (emotional = me) She explained the Gospel to me: That I was a sinner – Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” and because of my sin I deserved to die – Romans 6:23a “For the wages of sin is death” but God loved me so much that He sent His Son Jesus to pay for my sins! John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Wow! So, as my mom shared with me, I asked Jesus to save me from hell, and take me to heaven.
Sadly, my attitude didn’t change one iota towards God. In fact, I even got worse. I went from being prideful and unkind to my siblings to being bitter, hateful, disrespectful deceitful, and much more. I cheated on my school, I gossiped, and I had a sharp tongue that I used to mock others. I had a rotten attitude. I was a jerk. I lived my life for the attention of others. I was insecure and wanted everyone to “like” me. My attitude didn’t change because I hadn’t wanted Jesus as my Savior and Lord, I just wanted to be saved from Hell. In essence – fire insurance. I didn’t want or pursue a real relationship with God.
After a couple of years, I realized what I had been doing. I went through cycles where I would hear a convicting sermon, or “feel” spiritual – then I would pray, again, and ask Jesus to come in my heart and save me. But, the moment would fade, and I would forget or ignore my commitment to believe and obey, and the cycle would begin again.
One night, when I was about 12 years old, my dad and I were talking about Matthew 11:29, which says, “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” I realized that all I was doing was praying to get God’s attention and then trying show Him how I could get myself to heaven. All this work really tired me out! My life was spinning in circles like a Ferris Wheel out of control. My dad pointed out to me that Jesus gave His life to stop the cycle of my empty life, and I realized that I needed to give my life, my future, to Him if I wanted to get off the Ferris Wheel. He told me that Jesus would take all those heavy burdens of sin off my battered body and He was willing to carry me too! I knew that I needed Jesus Christ in my life more than I needed anything else in the world. I wanted Jesus to be part of my life. That night, I accepted Jesus into my life as my LORD and SAVIOR. I was a new person! I wasn’t Marilla Kay DiNatale – hopeless sinner. I was Marilla Kay DiNatale – child of God!
From that day onward, my life changed. I still sin, but God convicts me of sin and hounds me until I just ‘have’ to apologize. As I’ve grown in the knowledge of Christ, my actions have changed. I still argue, gossip, and say unkind things occasionally, but the Lord has convicted me that those actions are sin, and I am learning to shut up! I have gone from hating my brother and harboring bitterness towards him – to finding that God gave me a love for him that I don’t always understand. At times, I am still insecure and worried about what others will think, but it is at these times, when I feel so insignificant, God reminds me that He wanted me! He chose me in spite of my failings. In 1 Corinthians 1:27 it says, “But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.”
The Lord has done SO much for me! Hosea 2:14 says, “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness, and speak kindly to her.” I ran from the Lord, I was the prostitute, the unfaithful woman that Hosea married. Yet, the Lord still wants me back. He says, “I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in rightousness and in justice, in lovingkindness and in compassion, and I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then will you know the Lord.”
What has the Lord brought you from? I would love to hear all of your testimonies, not only what the Lord did in your life, but also what He is doing. The Lord wants us to proclaim His faithfulness to others. (Mark 5:19b “Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you and how He had mercy on you.”)
Who will you share with today?
With Love,
Marilla
No comments:
Post a Comment